It can be a daunting process, trying to find a therapist. I know, I’ve been there myself. Tripping up on jargon. Scrolling through profiles. It can feel like some kind of strange jumble of internet dating. All while we are not quite sure what we are looking for. But knowing that we need some support. That’s why I’ve put together this guide, to offer a roadmap through this minefield.
How do I know what type of therapist I am looking for? This is an important question, and there’s more than one part to it. The first thing to understand is that counselling and psychotherapy are unregulated in the UK. Just think about that for a minute. It explains why we might see professionals using different terms to describe themselves: therapist, counsellor, or psychotherapist. More worryingly, it means that anyone can call themselves a therapist, a counsellor or a psychotherapist in the UK. I find this quite frightening. And it makes it even more important to find someone who you can trust to work with you in a professional, safe and confidential way.
If the field is unregulated, what’s the difference between a therapist, a counsellor, and a psychotherapist? You’ll get a lot of different answers to this question. Here’s how I typically describe it. A therapist is often a catch-all term, using to describe someone who offers counselling and/or psychotherapy. It can be a bit confusing, as plenty of other, unrelated, practitioners, also use the word therapist to describe their work. That’s why I tend to describe myself as a counsellor or a psychotherapist. Again, there’s no legal basis for these definitions. Qualifications often have different labels. I hold a Diploma in Integrative Therapeutic Counselling, and I am working towards a Diploma in Attachment Psychotherapy.
Counselling is often used to refer to more short-term focused work, and psychotherapy is often used to refer to longer-term work. But this also seems a bit unsatisfying. We can do incredibly helpful and insightful work in therapy, regardless of whether it is short-term or long-term. Often people don’t know whether they will see a therapist for a short or a long period. As a therapist I don’t necessarily change how I work depending on how long someone intends to have therapy sessions for. The reality is that therapists tend to use the terminology that they feel most comfortable with. Sometimes I refer to my work as counselling and sometimes I refer to it as psychotherapy.
How do I know whether a therapist is suitably trained and qualified? There are different routes into counselling and psychotherapy, but I would recommend that you find someone who has (at minimum) a Level 4 Diploma. To achieve this diploma, they will have trained (part time) for four years. The training will include supervised clinical practice of at least 100 client hours, along with extensive theoretical training and personal development. If a therapist doesn’t clearly describe their qualifications, feel free to ask them. They should be proud to tell you about their training.
Another way to check on a therapist’s qualifications is to ask whether they are a registered member of a recognised membership body. This includes the BACP, UKCP and NCS. You can search on the Professional Standards Authority to find a full list of these organisations.
I’m a registered member of the BACP: the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. They check my qualifications and ask me to complete a ‘Certificate of Proficiency’. I am required to evidence my CPD and my clinical supervision. They offer me an ethical framework for my work, along with advice and support for both me and my clients.
I’m a therapist who works with Adults over the age of 18. Therapists require different, or additional, training to work with Couples, Families, Children and Young People. Well, given that it’s unregulated you may find a therapist who doesn’t have this extra training. But I urge you to find someone with the right professional qualifications.
What type of therapy am I looking for? There is a huge range of modalities of therapy. And to make things more confusing, many therapists (including myself) are ‘Integrative’ practitioners. This means that our training has included more than one modality of therapy, and that we integrate our approach accordingly. In addition, many therapists start off with one primary modality of therapy, but as they grow and develop and continue to learn, their practice may evolve.
The BACP offers an A-Z of therapeutic approaches, which may be helpful, you can find it here: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/.
Broadly speaking, there are three main modalities that you are likely to come across. Everyone will describe these in different ways, but here’s my attempt.
Person-Centred: Built on the core principle that we all have a fundamental drive to ‘self-actualise’, to develop and to grow. Your therapist will work with you in the ‘here and now’ to understand your sense of who you are, and how you can overcome life’s difficulties. https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/person-centred-counselling/
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: A structured approach, looking at how we can challenge our thoughts and behaviours. Can involve worksheets and homework, and is commonly used within the NHS. https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/
Psychodynamic: Originates with the teachings of Freud, but has developed into a modern practice. Considers how our past experiences build us into the people who we are. https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/psychodynamic-therapy/
Do I need a specialist? As therapists, we are typically qualified to work with Adults, or Couples or Children & Young People, or a combination of the above. Some therapists may offer a specialism, for example in working with bereavement, or anxiety or postnatal depression. Ideally, this means that they have done specific training in this field. It also often means that they have a personal interest in that area. It can also mean that they might have personal experience in this field.
In my private practice, I specialise in working with women. This ‘specialism’ (although it’s a pretty broad one!) came about from my experiences as a counsellor for a Women’s Centre and for Home-Start. I have done additional training in counselling for fertility, baby loss, and domestic abuse. That said, I often think that it’s not really a specialism, as every client’s life experiences are so different and varied. This also means that I don’t necessarily believe that we need to seek out a specialist for many of life’s challenges. The most important part is to find someone who you can connect with.
This does come with a caveat though. There are a handful of areas that I do believe require extra training, in particular working with eating disorders. I would also encourage you to seek a specialist if the main focus of your therapy is related to adoption. It used to be a requirement that a therapist be specially trained and registered with OFSTED to work in this field. That is no longer the case, but it remains worth considering.
My approach – as an Integrative therapist As I mentioned, I’m an Integrative therapist, and we often describe ourselves as having a ‘base’. My base is person-centred therapy. I believe that we all have the capacity to develop and grow, and I offer Carl Rogers’ ‘Core Conditions’ to my clients. These are Unconditional Positive Regard, Authenticity, and Empathy. This embodies everything that I bring to my counselling practice.
Beyond this base, I integrate a psychodynamic lens. I believe that it’s important to consider all our life experiences, and that they form the people who we are today. Our self-esteem, our behaviours, our friendships and our relationships. I have a particular focus on attachment psychotherapy, which highlights the way in which our relationships with our early caregivers impact on the people who we have become. This approach also encourages us to think about mindfulness, and mentalisation - or the ability to understand other people's perspectives. And it's all supported by a body of work in research and neuroscience.
I could talk about this all day long, but I don’t want to drift off into jargon about my favourite theorists.
And why have I chosen this approach? Like many therapists, it’s simply been about noticing what resonates with me. Attachment psychotherapy has helped me to understand myself better, and has offered me many insights into my own life. On top of all of this, I am always learning more. I sometimes borrow concepts from other modalities if it feels like they will help my client to understand themselves better.
It's the relationship that matters If you’re feeling confused, I have good news for you. The overriding evidence is that the most important contributing factor in therapy is, quite simply, the relationship that you build with your therapist. At its core, therapy is about having a space where you feel comfortable, safe and secure. Therapy can be challenging, and it can be uncomfortable. But when we have built up a safe and trusted relationship, it helps us to step away from all the worries and judgements and fears of the outside world, and really look inside ourselves.
Surely it’s best to look for a personal recommendation? In many areas of life, a personal recommendation is your first port of call. Your accountant, your plumber, or any service that you employ. And some therapists do develop a strong ‘word of mouth’ following. But it’s often a bit different when it comes to therapy.
The private and confidential nature of therapy can mean that our clients don’t often shout about us from the rooftops. We don’t tend to ask for testimonials or referrals. Clients might choose to tell people that they are attending therapy, while others might choose to keep it to themselves. And even if someone does recommend their therapist, there are ethical questions for a therapist to consider when it comes to working with a client’s friend or relative.
Using directories to find a therapist If you’re starting from scratch, I would advocate using an online directory to get a feeling for the type of therapist who might suit you. Before you do this, here are some questions that you might want to ask yourself:
When do you want sessions? What day or time would suit you? Typically, therapists offer a weekly slot of fifty minutes (sometimes known as a ‘therapeutic hour’). Is this convenient for you, or do you need to ask about alternatives? Have you allowed for some time after your session, to reflect or decompress before you re-enter your daily life? How much can you pay for your sessions? Do you want in-person or online therapy? If it’s in-person, how far do you want to travel, and do you have any accessibility needs? If it’s online, do you have a preference what type of online platform someone uses, and do you have a safe and comfortable space with good internet connection?
Who do you imagine speaking to? Therapists come from all walks of life, all ages and stages. You might feel like you are drawn to a certain type or image of person. You might want someone who feels like they come from your community. Or you might want someone who feels totally separate from your own life. It’s helpful to acknowledge these preferences, as they are likely to have an impact on the type of therapist that you want to choose. Some therapists talk openly on their websites about their own experiences and their journey into counselling. Some therapists offer nothing, or very little, of their own experiences.
Once you’ve figured out a sense of what you’re looking for, I would suggest that you take a look at one of these directories:
- Counselling Directory
- Psychology Today
- Welldoing
These platforms all charge therapists a monthly fee in order to be listed. They all require therapists to be a member of a recognised membership body, which will mean that you can feel reassured about their training and experience.
Making contact with a therapist Some therapists offer a free introductory chat, while others ask you to book your first session from the outset. It’s up to you to decide on which approach you prefer. I offer a free introductory chat, which can be booked via a link on my website. I know that when I have looked for a therapist, it’s been really important for me to have a quick chat with them first. As a client, it helps me to get a gut feel for whether it feels like we might have a connection. It’s also an opportunity to answer any questions. As a therapist, it also gives me the chance to make sure that I am able to offer the kind of support that you are looking for.
If you decide that you would like to work together, then I’ll send you a ‘Counselling Agreement’. This is a brief document that sets out the nuts and bolts of how we will work together. It includes information on things like payment and cancellation, and also covers confidentiality. I’ll send you a zoom link that you can use for every session that we will have together.
What happens in our first session? Our first session together is often a bit different from subsequent sessions. It’s the first time that we will properly meet, and it’s a chance for us to get to know each other. I’ll ask some questions so that I can build an understanding of what’s going on in your life, and in your past history. This doesn’t mean that you’ll be required to tell your life story in one sitting, or that you’ll need to talk about things that you don’t feel ready to discuss. We will take it at your pace. We will also consider your goals. Some people like to bring something to write with, in case they want to note down things that we have discussed. People come to therapy for all sorts of reasons, and it’s important to think about what you might like to get out of our work together. And then we will take it from there.
Keen to take the first step? Click here to contact me, or click here to book a 30-minute introductory call.
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