I've talked about the idea of 'productivity anxiety' in the workplace for this article in Yahoo News. But I also wanted to take a moment to explore the idea of 'free time anxiety'. This concept is absolutely something that would resonate with many of us. A sense of worry, fear or guilt that we ’should’ be doing more. That we don’t know what to do with ourselves when we have free time. This could be because we have been conditioned to prize productivity. Or because we are embarrassed at the idea of being seen as lazy, particularly if we are drawn to seek other people’s approval. Or perhaps because we feel undeserving of having free time, particularly if we are people-pleasers. I spoke to Stylist Magazine all about 'free time anxiety'. Click here to read the full article, or read on to hear what I had to say.
'Free time anxiety' stems from a society that prizes achievement. That links our achievements with our sense of self-esteem. This means that we don’t always know who we are, or what we want to do, when we don’t have a task to complete. In many ways this is exacerbated by the way that social media makes our lives, and the lives of others, so public. We are only ever one click away from everyone else’s achievements and progress. And when we are inundated by these images and words, it can easily trigger a sense of shame or embarrassment if we are doing nothing at all. Our routines often drive a sense that we are living on autopilot. And so if there is a break in routine, perhaps our boss is on holiday, or the kids are away, then we might feel a sense of anxiety at having to change or adapt our routine.
Indecision can come into play if we struggle with our sense of self-esteem. If we feel undeserving of enjoying our free time, then it can be hard to make choices and to tune into what we actually want to do.
'Free time anxiety' can be even more prominent for women. I often see this sense of gender bias playing out when we think about mental load, and also the concept of multitasking. For women, it seems natural and perhaps even expected, that they ’should’ be juggling lots of balls at the same time. And if we are constantly juggling, then we are never going to feel that our to-do list has been completed. That we are allowed to do nothing at all.
Sometimes it's driven by a fear of boredom. And beneath that fear of boredom, we might have a deeper fear of what we might experience if we are not busy. That we might be overwhelmed by feelings that we are trying to ignore or push away. That our internal monologue might become louder or more critical. And this means that the idea of being ‘alone with our thoughts’ becomes something that we might try to avoid.
Some tips for coping with 'free time anxiety':
Resisting the urge to multitask, and reframing how we feel about our to-do list.
Making ourselves accountable by telling other people that we plan to relax and do nothing.
Ask other people whether they experience the same feeling. Chances are, they may feel the same way, and this can help us to normalise and tackle this sense of anxiety.
Turning off our devices. Seeing what happens when we don’t have the digital world to fall back on, to keep us busy.
Keen to explore more? In counselling we can take a deeper look at how you feel about yourself, and how you spend your time. Click here to contact me, or click here to book a 30-minute introductory call.
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