What really winds you up in your relationships? Everyone is different, but there are common themes that seem to come up again and again for many of us. I spoke to Metro about some of the things that might really bother us about our partners. And how we can overcome them, or at least learn to live with them. Click here to read the full article.
Feeling as if we are not being heard
We often feel frustrated that our partner doesn’t seem to know how we are feeling. We might be looking to them for a romantic gesture, for motivation, for compassion, for an adventure. But the reality is that none of us are mind-readers.
Tune into what you think you need from your partner. And consider how you communicate this. Are they really ignoring your needs? Or are they simply unaware of how you’re feeling. More often than not, it’s the latter.
Spending time with your partner's friends, whether you like it or not
When we enter a relationship, we are also - to a certain extent - entering into a relationship with our partner's friends too. Sometimes this brings added joy to our lives, with new friendships and adventures.
But sometimes it adds extra stress and frustration.
Perhaps you don’t really like the people who your partner hangs out with. Or perhaps you don’t like the way that your partner behaves when they’re with their friends.
Acknowledge the feelings that lie beneath. Maybe you feel angry or frustrated by what their friends say, or how they behave. Perhaps you’re jealous of the connection that they have with your partner. Or maybe you’re feeling insecure, or worried that they won’t like you.
Communicate carefully. Be honest about how you feel, but make sure that your partner knows that you’re not blaming their friends, or criticising their choices.
Delicately find a solution that works for you. Maybe you need to spend more time with your partner’s friends, to truly get to know them. Or maybe you both need to accept that you’ll each spend time with your own friends, in addition to time as a couple.
Spending, and our relationship with money
What springs to mind when you think about compatibility? Maybe it’s a sense of humour, shared interests, physical attraction. But we don’t often think about financial compatibility. Yet the topic of money and spending often feature heavily in disagreements between a couple.
Understand your own relationship with money. There’s a practical element here about earnings, spending and budgeting. But we also have an emotional relationship with money. Maybe spending gives you pleasure, or makes you feel successful. Or perhaps spending triggers fear or anxiety for you.
Talk about money. Be open about your finances and be open about how you feel about spending. Be proactive in figuring out how you need to manage your finances together.
Keen to explore more?
I love working with people to help them to understand themselves and why they feel the way that they do. If you’d like to learn more, please get in touch. Click here to contact me or click here to book a free 30-minute introductory chat.
Comentarios